Ranting

I watched a Grey’s Anatomy episode once. There was a writer who had to come to the hospital because he swallowed sth that couldn’t be digested.

Doctor: What did u eat?

Writer: Crap.

Doctor: What?

Writer’s wife: He… he ate his novel *smile nervously*

Writer: It’s a bunch of crap! I hate every word of it. And I wanted to put it behind me forever!

Writer’s wife: Literally… *looking at doctor helplessly*

Doctor:………

 

I thought that guy was crazy. Who does that??? Now, you’re a writer, you’re gonna write sth new. Chill, be easy, why r u making such a big fuss out of it?

I stood from outside looking in, sounding all smart and calm. Little did I know, a few months ahead in the future, I’d be experiencing the same thing. I’d be writing essays and editing them and rewriting them, so much that when I read them again they don’t even make sense anymore. There is this essay about Malay Dance that I wrote in utmost enthusiasm, which was edited again and again over a period of 2 months. 2 months! I’m so sick of it! I feel exactly like that writer guy now. Trust me, the feeling is real, and it’s punching against my throat.

It sounds bizarre but I do feel like eating my essay up and “putting it behind me” right now. Fortunately I’m not so insane to do it yet. It’s just a feeling.

 

Anyway, that guy in the movie ended up having major surgery to remove the disgusting ball of paper from his stomach. In my case it’s a whole laptop so I don’t think I’m gonna do it. Nah… Just have to push the feeling back down and continue.

“This too, will pass”

Home sweet home!

I said good bye to Singapore with its sparkly lights, its busy Orchard road and its rainy days. I said good bye to durian ice kachang, red hot bbq chicken, cozy Thai noodle house, memory-filled Island creamery and crowded Mc Donalds. I said good bye to the long bus rides in the rain, the crowded mrt stations and sandy East Coast Park.

I am back home.

Home, the food paradise with plenty of vegetables and fruits in its original natural package plucked down from the trees (not dipped in sugar water and canned away in shelves). Home, where the traffic drives me crazy. Home, where I have a house with a whole room for myself, a whole bathroom for myself, a whole little corner of the world for myself only.

I’m home for almost a week now and still recovering from the mild flu I got due to the change in weather. As much as I hate the polluted air and the noise whenever I show my face on the street, it feels good here.

I’ve been trying all the food that I’ve been missing. I’ve had a bowl of original Vietnamese pho. I have been to the most exotic corner of Singapore to find a bowl of pho that is authentic, but really, in nowhere else in the world can you find pho like in Vietnam, where they give you vegetables and meat in such generous amounts. Also, only at home can I find a chocolate croissant that is worth 50 cents but tastes like a 3.50 Starbucks croissant in Singapore. Awesome.

Anyway, yesterday my mum bought me bbq bird, with rice. Honestly it was delicious. Still, for some reason, it felt weird for me to be eating birds. In Singapore, I see birds on the street and they were alive and they walked around looking at me as if I’m the most harmless thing in the world. Because I have been seeing them, alive, for quite some time that now it’s just not really right to be eating them. I ate these before when I was younger, and it felt perfectly fine because everyone else around me was doing the same thing. So it should not be weird for me. In fact, chicken is also a kind of bird and we all eat chicken all the time, so it shouldn’t feel weird for anyone to be eating birds right?

Still, I’m a little concerned that my appetite and eating habits have changed. I don’t know what else have changed that I’m not aware of.

All those thoughts aside. I’m glad to be back in Vietnam. Just wish I have more friends here…

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